LEESH

I dare you to watch this video and NOT cry. Haven't we all felt how Andy feels in this ending? Like we're reluctant to let our childhoods go, and yet we know we HAVE to. 

That was how I felt over the summer (nerd alert!) when the final Harry Potter movie came out. I had spent my entire childhood reading, and then watching, this wonderful series. I don't think I've looked forward to a movie more in my entire life. And it lived up to my expectations! And then, as the credits rolled, I realized. "It's over." I told Hannah that I felt empty and really weird inside. Haha! It was the strangest feeling! I then coined the phrase "Post-Potter Depression." Okay, it wasn't really depression, but it was a very downcast feeling as I realized that my childhood truly is over. Wait, it should've been over four or five years ago....but still. It was a definite end.

I guess the whole purpose of this post is that, yes, I am still trying to grow up. It's not easy, or fun, or awesome. It seems that as each year passes, I have taken on more responsibilities, but at the same time, I refuse to be responsible. Does that make sense? Maybe it was the fact that I grew up in a home where I never had to work a day in my life. And I'm  not blaming my parents, because everyone knows they are the hardest working people around. I guess I'm blaming myself for not instilling in myself a healthy work ethic. The way I see it, I want a job HERE AND NOW that will be fun AND well-paying. I guess I kind of had that when I was at home, but now I'm away and I won't have those type of jobs handed to me anymore. Especially in Provo. But, is it so bad to want a job that I will enjoy? For me, if I don't enjoy it or feel that I am good at it, I just won't do it. Plain and simple. Right now I work in sales. And I've realized that sales is not my thing. At all. Honestly, I'd give anything right now to work in a physical therapy office. It's what I love to do and it is definitely where I belong! 

So I'll just pray that something will come out of my persistence, hard work, and searching. 

Dreams don't work unless you do.