Today, I was really annoyed.
Seeing all these "thankful posts" on Facebook these last two weeks has been a small source of annoyance to me. I look at it more as "bragging" posts than thankful posts. "Oh, I am so grateful for my perfect husband and my perfect kids and my perfect life!" ect ect ect..... Can you see why this would bug me?
So at school during lab I brought it up to my friends. I said, I am so sick of people writing all these thankful posts! It's so dumb! I couldn't think of 30 things to be thankful for if I tried!
My friends looked at me like I was crazy. "That is selfish," said one of them. "They probably post it more for themselves than for anyone else," said another. I instantly realized how selfish and bratty I really was being!
And then, tonight we had a Relief Society activity, a progressive dinner. The three bishopric wive's each gave a wonderful little talk about gratitude. Of course I was like, ugh I'm so sick of hearing about gratitude! But two minutes into Sister R's talk, I had a huge awakening, which hit me like a sack of bricks to the head. I guess sometimes the Spirit works that way! She spoke about how several years ago, she had all these health problems that just kept snowballing, to the point where her doctor's said she wouldn't live through it. After a ward and then stake fast, she began to get better. Soon after, every little accomplishment became something to be grateful for. Every daily task that she used to take for granted, that she used to do independently, she was now immensely grateful for. Even a simple walk outside the hospital had all of it's wonders- the blue sky, the beautiful flowers, the fresh air, the mountains nearby. She was so much more grateful for all of these little things that she would normally not think about before she got sick.
This really resonated with me, and I think I know why. I've always had an issue with feeling grateful because not only is my life not extraordinary, but also because I have never had some traumatic or serious experience in my life that has made me truly grateful for the little things. I have never been unable to do my favorite things. I have always been able to enjoy a comfortable and a fairly stress-free life. Sometimes I wonder why I don't seem to have all these trials that others around me seem to experience. This may seem silly, but sometimes I look at other people's trials and I envy them. Not because their lives are in turmoil, but because they seem to always come out of these trials with some great lesson or wisdom or renewed faith. Sometimes I worry that I am not faithful or righteous enough, because if I was, wouldn't Satan be doing his best to throw me for a loop?
What does this have to do with being grateful? Well, I've come to realize that I take SO MUCH for granted. Every day. And maybe I've known this all along, but today it has become too big to ignore, how ungrateful and selfish I have really become.
Case in point: my parents. Where do I even begin? They have given me everything in life. An amazing house to grow up in, money whenever I needed it, a car, gas, insurance, clothes....yes, I have been spoiled. Yes, I definitely have not grown out of being dependent on my parents. And yes, I don't know if I have ever actually thanked them, in person, and included an "I love you" and a hug to make it sincere. And Mom, you're probably reading this, so now you know. Words cannot express how much I love and respect you and Dad. You guys have raised me right, I have just been too stubborn/lazy to realize, until now, how GRATEFUL I am.
I have a wonderful house to live in, with wonderful roommates. Some people have dingy apartments or roommates who make life miserable. I know how lucky I am to have such a great place to live, and such awesome girls to share the house with.
My school is a huge blessing in my life, I have learned so much and now that I am nearing the end I feel like I can be an actual functioning member of society. I am so thankful for the people who are in my life now because of this program. They've been great friends throughout this whole process. I'm thankful that a spot was able to open up for me to enter the program without having to wait a couple years to start (like I would have had to do in AZ). I'm so excited to almost be done!
I'm thankful for my ability to run. I love to run. Without that hobby I probably would be overweight and unhappy. I love the races that I've done, I love the community of runners. I love the satisfaction that I feel after a good run, and the motivation I have to do better next time after an awful run. I am so incredibly grateful for a body that can log the miles without breaking down or becoming fatigued. It is truly a blessing in my life.
Anyway....now this post is turning into one of those thankful posts, ha ha! I don't need to name all the things I am thankful for, because now I know that even the little things in life are things to be appreciated! Today has been a real eye-opener, and I hope this epiphany, or whatever you want to call it, will continue to affect my daily life for a while. It's definitely something I needed to learn, and I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who was merciful enough to let me learn this lesson the easy way.
With that said....knock on wood.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Floating Ribs
So today in my ortho class, my teacher was explaining the role of what we call the "floating ribs". The bottom two pairs of ribs, instead of being attached to each other with cartilage like all the other ribs, are only connected at their base to the vertebrae. So for all intensive purposes, they are alone. They just kind of sit there. They don't exactly serve a purpose, they don't even expand like the other ribs do to allow more air to flow into the lungs. The other ribs, or "true" ribs, work together to expand with each breath (with the help of muscles) in order to allow the lungs to fill with air. Without this movement of the ribs, breathing could not occur.
As I'm sitting there in class listening to my teacher explain the characteristics of the floating ribs, I suddenly say out loud, "Oh my gosh, this is totally a metaphor for my life!" The whole class chuckled, as they are totally used to my random comments by now. Then my teacher just said simply, "I'm not gonna lie, that's pretty sad." Then I had to laugh at myself because I realized how ridiculous I was sounding.
Basically my point is, I've nearly always been alone. The longest I've dated someone is less than three months. And by now I'm so used to being single, that having all this alone time to do whatever the heck I want doesn't bother me. Like the floating ribs, I am not attached to anyone. I can come and go as I please without anyone having to move along with me. It's just me, myself, and I. Which can get lonely at times, but that's what family, friends, and amazing roommates are for! Who said a girl had to be in a relationship to be happy?
HOWEVER, someday in the future I hope to become one of the true ribs. I want to be attached to somebody, to move with them as one, to breathe as one, if you will. A true partnership. And it may not be in the next six months, or the next year, or next 5 years, but I know it will happen eventually. All I can do in the meantime is to be the best person I can possibly be, which takes A TON of work because as we all know, none of us are perfect.
The other characteristic of the floating ribs that I related with was the fact that they seem to serve no purpose. They don't expand like the other ribs do. If you look at them on just a model of a skeleton, they seem to hang there with no apparent reason from the lower thoracic vertebrae. But if you were to look at a diagram that includes the ribs and the vital organs, you would see the purpose of these lower ribs. They protect the vital organs against outside forces or trauma. They may not be as sturdy or as strong as the upper ribs, but they do their part to keep the inside of the body safe.
As I look at my life today, I think, what is my purpose? What was I sent here on this Earth to do? At first, when I thought about this today and even now as I write this, it is hard for me to name my specific purpose. Probably because I don't have some big, grand, purpose in this world. I'm probably not going to change the world for all mankind. But can I change the world of one person? Can one simple act of kindness or service make the difference between a crappy day and a good day for someone? I have talents, I can sing and play the violin well enough to get along. Who can I make happy with these talents? Will I hide these talents under a bushel, like the scriptures say, or will I share them with those around me to brighten their day? I know i am meant to be a mother in Zion, as I have been promised. I have also been promised many happy days. Am I doing my part to make sure others around me have happy days as well? I have a knack for making people laugh, and as I used to say in high school, "I am only here for your entertainment." It seems like a joyous way to live life to me!
At first glance, it may be hard to find a purpose in my life. But I just have to take another look from a different perspective. Having a purpose doesn't necessarily have to be some extensive, grand event in my life. I'm not going to cure cancer. I'm not going to solve world hunger. I'll never be famous. I cannot stop wars. But what I can do is try to make the people around me feel like I care, that they can come to me with their concerns and problems, and overall just make their lives a teeny bit easier. I'm not a miracle worker, but I'm sure even the little things matter, the little things that happen day-to-day, small acts of service, that can change someone's life for the better.
Now, that's not to say that I have it all figured out. Far from it, actually. But every day I am a little bit closer.
And as it turns out, I am nothing like the floating ribs.
As I'm sitting there in class listening to my teacher explain the characteristics of the floating ribs, I suddenly say out loud, "Oh my gosh, this is totally a metaphor for my life!" The whole class chuckled, as they are totally used to my random comments by now. Then my teacher just said simply, "I'm not gonna lie, that's pretty sad." Then I had to laugh at myself because I realized how ridiculous I was sounding.
Basically my point is, I've nearly always been alone. The longest I've dated someone is less than three months. And by now I'm so used to being single, that having all this alone time to do whatever the heck I want doesn't bother me. Like the floating ribs, I am not attached to anyone. I can come and go as I please without anyone having to move along with me. It's just me, myself, and I. Which can get lonely at times, but that's what family, friends, and amazing roommates are for! Who said a girl had to be in a relationship to be happy?
HOWEVER, someday in the future I hope to become one of the true ribs. I want to be attached to somebody, to move with them as one, to breathe as one, if you will. A true partnership. And it may not be in the next six months, or the next year, or next 5 years, but I know it will happen eventually. All I can do in the meantime is to be the best person I can possibly be, which takes A TON of work because as we all know, none of us are perfect.
The other characteristic of the floating ribs that I related with was the fact that they seem to serve no purpose. They don't expand like the other ribs do. If you look at them on just a model of a skeleton, they seem to hang there with no apparent reason from the lower thoracic vertebrae. But if you were to look at a diagram that includes the ribs and the vital organs, you would see the purpose of these lower ribs. They protect the vital organs against outside forces or trauma. They may not be as sturdy or as strong as the upper ribs, but they do their part to keep the inside of the body safe.
As I look at my life today, I think, what is my purpose? What was I sent here on this Earth to do? At first, when I thought about this today and even now as I write this, it is hard for me to name my specific purpose. Probably because I don't have some big, grand, purpose in this world. I'm probably not going to change the world for all mankind. But can I change the world of one person? Can one simple act of kindness or service make the difference between a crappy day and a good day for someone? I have talents, I can sing and play the violin well enough to get along. Who can I make happy with these talents? Will I hide these talents under a bushel, like the scriptures say, or will I share them with those around me to brighten their day? I know i am meant to be a mother in Zion, as I have been promised. I have also been promised many happy days. Am I doing my part to make sure others around me have happy days as well? I have a knack for making people laugh, and as I used to say in high school, "I am only here for your entertainment." It seems like a joyous way to live life to me!
At first glance, it may be hard to find a purpose in my life. But I just have to take another look from a different perspective. Having a purpose doesn't necessarily have to be some extensive, grand event in my life. I'm not going to cure cancer. I'm not going to solve world hunger. I'll never be famous. I cannot stop wars. But what I can do is try to make the people around me feel like I care, that they can come to me with their concerns and problems, and overall just make their lives a teeny bit easier. I'm not a miracle worker, but I'm sure even the little things matter, the little things that happen day-to-day, small acts of service, that can change someone's life for the better.
Now, that's not to say that I have it all figured out. Far from it, actually. But every day I am a little bit closer.
And as it turns out, I am nothing like the floating ribs.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)