Good, Better, Best.

Job hunting has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. I have had a couple interviews, but so far they have ended in disappointment. Until yesterday. I received a call from an outpatient clinic in Montana- yes, my dream state and the place I have wanted to live for as long as I can remember. From what he told me, this is the perfect job, minus the whole 1,000 miles away from home part. So I got all excited! Last night I was convinced that I was moving there, and that it would finally be a dream come true! Yeah, I'd probably end up living in a trailer or something, and yeah, I could possibly be setting myself up to be an eternal spinster by moving to a small town, but at the same time I was ready for an adventure.

Then this morning, I had an interview at an office in Gilbert. Right down the street from my house, in a beautiful clinic with an awesome staff of mostly LDS people. The man I interviewed with seemed very positive about taking me on, even though I was completely upfront about the Montana position. He understood, and told me he was in no rush, and to think about it. All of a sudden, my feelings and priorities changed. I could make much more money if I stayed in Arizona and took this job. I could potentially pay off my students loans much more quickly. I could even begin saving money (something totally unheard of for me).

So now it is a choice between two excellent things. On one hand, my dream location. Montana. The mountains and small towns are thing that I daydream about on a regular basis. I know for most people, it doesn't sound ideal or appealing at all, but dang it, I am not most people! I have dreamed about living in a small rural town for as long as I can remember. When else will I have the chance to just up and move to where ever I want? So do I follow my heart, and do what I've always wanted to do?

On the other hand, staying in Gilbert. I could be responsible, save money, pay off student loans, be close to family, and continue to live in the state that I love dearly but sometimes hate at the same time. I hate that nothing changes here. I left for two years and came back, and nothing changed. So do I follow my head, and the logic that tells me I need to be a real adult now and take responsibility for my life?

This is what is plaguing me, this battle between my heart and my mind. I've never had to make such a huge life decision before. And making a pros and cons list doesn't help me much, because "mountains" will always beat "money" for me.

I am hoping to hear back from the Gilbert place in a couple days, and if they offer me a job I don't think I'll be able to turn it down. But at the same time, will I wish for the rest of my life that I had taken the job in Montana? Even if only for a couple years? These are the things that keep me up at night, so if anyone has some good advice/bits of wisdom for me, that would be greatly appreciated!

That Big Hole in the Ground

The Grand Canyon. I sometimes forget about the this big hole in the ground. I drive by the turn-offs to the south and north rims every time I drive to Utah. It wasn't until this weekend that I was able to fully appreciate the beauty and grandeur that is the Grand Canyon. 

I have a friend who is super adventurous, and he hikes the GC a couple times a year. I would have joined in a heart beat if I still wasn't recovering from my last foot surgery. As it is, I volunteered to be a driver, to get the car from the north rim to the south while the hikers traversed 24+ miles of unforgiving desert. 

Friday morning, I left with the first group and we headed up to the north rim. Arriving at about 5 pm, we decided to do a short hike from the campsite to the grand lodge. Now, since my surgery 6 weeks ago I haven't walked any long distances, and any walking I've done was on concrete and flat ground. I wasn't so sure about an almost 3-mile round trip on dirt and rocks and tree roots, but surprisingly the more I walked the better my foot felt! The lodge is beautiful! It is situated literally right at the edge of the cliff, and in the large front sitting room there are three huge bay windows with the most breathtaking views of the canyon. I could have sat on those couches all day. There's also a sitting area outside with more chairs, all facing the canyon. I would have given anything to sit there and just relax and read a good book. 

Shortly after dark we headed back to the campsite. Since there wasn't much to do and we didn't have firewood and it was quickly becoming freezing cold, we made our beds and attempted to sleep. All I can say is I wish I had brought a foam pad and another blanket to put on top of my sleeping bag! I was freezing most of the night, even all bundled up in my clothes, and although I'm used to sleeping on the ground I guess I'm getting old because I could not get comfortable! Haha. As it was, not much sleep was had by anybody that night, especially the other group because they arrived at around 1 am. 

Morning dawned cold and a little foggy. The 5 hikers seemed nervous but excited to get going. After packing up camp, we all drove the short distance to the Kaibab Trailhead. After some pictures and a prayer, they were off! I was almost nervous seeing them go. I know how dangerous the canyon can be, but I also had no doubt they would all make it out to other side in one piece. 

Stephanie (the other driver) and I hiked a short distance down the trail to get a glimpse of the canyon, but the trail was in the trees for some distance so we decided to drive to the lodge instead. Once there, we hiked out to Bright Angel point (half mile round trip) and enjoyed the amazing views. 

Around mid morning we left the north rim (which I was really sad to leave, it is gorgeous!) and arrived in Jacob's Lake. Of course I had to buy a cookie (or two) and we also needed to fill up on gas for the journey to the south rim. Since Stephanie hadn't really been to any of the popular stops along the way, I took on the job of tour guide. We stopped at some good lookout spots and then at Navajo Bridge which has awesome views of the mighty Colorado as it winds its way towards the GC. The river was as muddy as I have ever seen it, no doubt to all the rains in recent weeks. 

After Navajo Bridge, there aren't any more scenic spots so we set our sights on the south rim. When we arrived around 2 pm, it was already fairly crowded. We stopped at some of the early lookout spots, and even braved the crowds at the Grand Canyon Village. Around 5, we decided to get to Bright Angel Lodge and Trailhead and await our hikers. The walkie talkies that we had finally worked when we were at the trailhead, and they told us they were at what was called 3-Mile House. Another hour or so and they'd be out! 

Once Luke got cell service, he texted me and said him and Dave were behind the other three, as they were both having a rough time. Stephanie and I hiked down the trail a short way so we could see the switchbacks and watch for the other 3. We cheered them on when we saw them, then hiked the rest of the way out with them. Another hour or so later, the last two straggled out. They were both miserable but happy to be out. 

After showers for the hikers, a meal in the small town just south of the park, and lots of caffeine for me, we were finally on our way home. I was exhausted but somehow we all made it home in one piece, arriving around 1:15 am. 

Even though all I did was drive, I still had a total blast! Steph and I had fun exploring both rims and pretty much just being tourists. The crowds of foreigners were crazy but very interesting. I heard a lot of different languages, mostly French. Anyway, here's a picture dump! 

Job Searching equals HELL

So I am convinced that AZ is at it's worst in September. It still feels like summer, but it's not quite fall. It is still blasted hot, and there's not even a chill at night. It makes me reminisce about Utah's September. The colors are starting to change and the nights are perfect. There are good things about Utah and good things about Arizona, and I'm having a hard time deciding where I want to be now. I'm not gonna lie. I miss Utah. I mostly miss running there. That state has all of my favorite races.

I'm still in the middle of job searching, and can I just say that IT SUCKS. It seems like no matter how hard I try, I can't get on top of it. The majority of jobs that are available are either traveling jobs (not out of the question) or jobs in skilled nursing facilities, which I am convinced I will hate every waking second of working there. But I actually have no idea because I've never been in one. Who knows? I definitely do not want to work weekends or Sundays, which is why I've really been trying to get into an outpatient setting. The hours are set, and I've always been more interested in sports/orthopedics anyway. I did have an interview at an awesome clinic in Gilbert (inside Mountainside Fitness!) but they decided they wanted to go with a PT because they needed somebody to cover for the hours that the other PT is there. Forgive me if I'm wrong but ISN'T THAT THE POINT OF A PTA?! As a PTA, I am a valuable tool in growing clinics. I can see patients that the PT has already evaluated, producing a higher patient load while lowering costs. I swear, some people are sadly misinformed or just have no idea what the role of a PTA is. It drives me crazy.

The only thing I can do is keep moving forward. I have applied in many states, given my name and resume to as many recruiting agencies as I can, and still have come up with nothing. The one job offer I had wanted me to work every or every other Sunday. I can put up with a lot of things, but losing my Sunday is not an option. I have told myself from the very beginning that I would never work on Sundays. I had to once during my clinical and I felt dirty and just miserable all day.

Am I being too picky, or is I own personal happiness more important? Should I just take any job I can get (even if I will be miserable every day) or should I hold out for the job that I want? These are the questions that keep me up at night!!!!