The Friend Zone

How many of you have ever uttered the words "Man, she friend-zoned me" or "I put him in the friend- zone"?

Well, I am going to make a motion that we do away with this so-called "friend-zone" because here's what I think:

The friend-zone is a myth. I mean, kind of. I will admit it exists, but only because men make it exist.

Now, you may be all up in arms right about now saying "Well, I wanted to date her but she only wanted to be friends with me!" or "That guy wouldn't leave me alone and he kept asking me out so the only answer was the put him in the FZ".

Notice how the man side of the FZ makes the man out to be the victim, while the woman's side of the FZ makes her out to be the instigator of the friend-zoning.

I may be in the minority here, but I think that men use the excuse of being "friend-zoned" to cover up the damage to their egos that happens when they get turned down by a woman. Instead of just saying "well, she must just not be interested in me", the blame is turned to the woman, insisting that she just won't give the nice guys a chance. Nice guys always get put in the FZ, right?

Women, let's start being completely clear with our feelings and intentions. If it appears that a guy is interested in you, but you are just not feeling it, tell him! Every guy I have talked to about this subject agrees that it would just be nice to know straight up if a woman is interested in dating or not. Men get this idea of us "friend-zoning" them because we beat around the bush, give out "hints", avoid them, and play games. How about we all be mature about this rather silly dating business and just be clear and honest with everyone?

Now, men: there is such a thing as a woman simply not being interested. And if it appears to you that a woman has put you in the dreaded FZ, then MOVE ON. Seriously. She IS NOT INTERESTED in dating you. That's not a reason to call her a prude, or make her out to be some sort of floozy that enjoys leading men on. When a woman says she wants to be "just friends", don't blame it on her by saying she put you in the friend zone. Just don't.

I don't like the fact that being friends with someone of the opposite sex has turned into such a taboo. I'm sure many of you have seen this video  which makes it appear that men and women cannot be just friends. They edited that video in such a way to make it appear so, but I really believe that men and women can be friends. Do people really believe that there are only two options when it comes to relationships between men and women? Dating or nothing at all?

I'm pretty sure I am a living example of how this isn't true. I have had many guy friends throughout my life that I never had serious romantic feelings for, just feelings of pure friendship. I'm sure most of them could say the same about me. And if I'm wrong about this then those guys need to speak up...haha!

I saw a tweet recently that said "The friend-zone is for guys who won't be absolutely clear about their intentions. It's boyfriend or acquaintance. Friendship isn't an option"(@iMattBrooks). Although I absolutely agree with the first sentence (I have a hard time wanting to date or even be interested in a guy if he doesn't make his intentions clear) I'm not sure I agree with the rest of it. Men and women can be friends. They can hang out without hooking up. They can have conversations without flirting. They can keep things platonic between them while still managing to have fun together.

Am I wrong here? Am I being completely crazy or oblivious?

All I am trying to get at, is that men need to stop playing the victim when they get turned down by a woman, and women need to be honest when turning down a man for a date or relationship. Let's turn this whole dating "game" into something more mature and a lot less confusing. Who's with me? No more using the phrase "friend-zone". Let's just call it as it is: guys, she's just not that into you.