Good, Better, Best.

Job hunting has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. I have had a couple interviews, but so far they have ended in disappointment. Until yesterday. I received a call from an outpatient clinic in Montana- yes, my dream state and the place I have wanted to live for as long as I can remember. From what he told me, this is the perfect job, minus the whole 1,000 miles away from home part. So I got all excited! Last night I was convinced that I was moving there, and that it would finally be a dream come true! Yeah, I'd probably end up living in a trailer or something, and yeah, I could possibly be setting myself up to be an eternal spinster by moving to a small town, but at the same time I was ready for an adventure.

Then this morning, I had an interview at an office in Gilbert. Right down the street from my house, in a beautiful clinic with an awesome staff of mostly LDS people. The man I interviewed with seemed very positive about taking me on, even though I was completely upfront about the Montana position. He understood, and told me he was in no rush, and to think about it. All of a sudden, my feelings and priorities changed. I could make much more money if I stayed in Arizona and took this job. I could potentially pay off my students loans much more quickly. I could even begin saving money (something totally unheard of for me).

So now it is a choice between two excellent things. On one hand, my dream location. Montana. The mountains and small towns are thing that I daydream about on a regular basis. I know for most people, it doesn't sound ideal or appealing at all, but dang it, I am not most people! I have dreamed about living in a small rural town for as long as I can remember. When else will I have the chance to just up and move to where ever I want? So do I follow my heart, and do what I've always wanted to do?

On the other hand, staying in Gilbert. I could be responsible, save money, pay off student loans, be close to family, and continue to live in the state that I love dearly but sometimes hate at the same time. I hate that nothing changes here. I left for two years and came back, and nothing changed. So do I follow my head, and the logic that tells me I need to be a real adult now and take responsibility for my life?

This is what is plaguing me, this battle between my heart and my mind. I've never had to make such a huge life decision before. And making a pros and cons list doesn't help me much, because "mountains" will always beat "money" for me.

I am hoping to hear back from the Gilbert place in a couple days, and if they offer me a job I don't think I'll be able to turn it down. But at the same time, will I wish for the rest of my life that I had taken the job in Montana? Even if only for a couple years? These are the things that keep me up at night, so if anyone has some good advice/bits of wisdom for me, that would be greatly appreciated!