On Being Grateful

Today, I was really annoyed.

Seeing all these "thankful posts" on Facebook these last two weeks has been a small source of annoyance to me. I look at it more as "bragging" posts than thankful posts. "Oh, I am so grateful for my perfect husband and my perfect kids and my perfect life!" ect ect ect..... Can you see why this would bug me?

So at school during lab I brought it up to my friends. I said, I am so sick of people writing all these thankful posts! It's so dumb! I couldn't think of 30 things to be thankful for if I tried!

My friends looked at me like I was crazy. "That is selfish," said one of them. "They probably post it more for themselves than for anyone else," said another. I instantly realized how selfish and bratty I really was being!

And then, tonight we had a Relief Society activity, a progressive dinner. The three bishopric wive's each gave a wonderful little talk about gratitude. Of course I was like, ugh I'm so sick of hearing about gratitude! But two minutes into Sister R's talk, I had a huge awakening, which hit me like a sack of bricks to the head. I guess sometimes the Spirit works that way! She spoke about how several years ago, she had all these health problems that just kept snowballing, to the point where her doctor's said she wouldn't live through it. After a ward and then stake fast, she began to get better. Soon after, every little accomplishment became something to be grateful for. Every daily task that she used to take for granted, that she used to do independently, she was now immensely grateful for. Even a simple walk outside the hospital had all of it's wonders- the blue sky, the beautiful flowers, the fresh air, the mountains nearby. She was so much more grateful for all of these little things that she would normally not think about before she got sick.

This really resonated with me, and I think I know why. I've always had an issue with feeling grateful because not only is my life not extraordinary, but also because I have never had some traumatic or serious experience in my life that has made me truly grateful for the little things. I have never been unable to do my favorite things. I have always been able to enjoy a comfortable and a fairly stress-free life. Sometimes I wonder why I don't seem to have all these trials that others around me seem to experience. This may seem silly, but sometimes I look at other people's trials and I envy them. Not because their lives are in turmoil, but because they seem to always come out of these trials with some great lesson or wisdom or renewed faith. Sometimes I worry that I am not faithful or righteous enough, because if I was, wouldn't Satan be doing his best to throw me for a loop?

What does this have to do with being grateful? Well, I've come to realize that I take SO MUCH for granted. Every day. And maybe I've known this all along, but today it has become too big to ignore, how ungrateful and selfish I have really become.

Case in point: my parents. Where do I even begin? They have given me everything in life. An amazing house to grow up in, money whenever I needed it, a car, gas, insurance, clothes....yes, I have been spoiled. Yes, I definitely have not grown out of being dependent on my parents. And yes, I don't know if I have ever actually thanked them, in person, and included an "I love you" and a hug to make it sincere. And Mom, you're probably reading this, so now you know. Words cannot express how much I love and respect you and Dad. You guys have raised me right, I have just been too stubborn/lazy to realize, until now, how GRATEFUL I am.

I have a wonderful house to live in, with wonderful roommates. Some people have dingy apartments or roommates who make life miserable. I know how lucky I am to have such a great place to live, and such awesome girls to share the house with.

My school is a huge blessing in my life, I have learned so much and now that I am nearing the end I feel like I can be an actual functioning member of society. I am so thankful for the people who are in my life now because of this program. They've been great friends throughout this whole process. I'm thankful that a spot was able to open up for me to enter the program without having to wait a couple years to start (like I would have had to do in AZ). I'm so excited to almost be done!

I'm thankful for my ability to run. I love to run. Without that hobby I probably would be overweight and unhappy. I love the races that I've done, I love the community of runners. I love the satisfaction that I feel after a good run, and the motivation I have to do better next time after an awful run. I am so incredibly grateful for a body that can log the miles without breaking down or becoming fatigued. It is truly a blessing in my life.

Anyway....now this post is turning into one of those thankful posts, ha ha! I don't need to name all the things I am thankful for, because now I know that even the little things in life are things to be appreciated! Today has been a real eye-opener, and I hope this epiphany, or whatever you want to call it, will continue to affect my daily life for a while. It's definitely something I needed to learn, and I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who was merciful enough to let me learn this lesson the easy way.

With that said....knock on wood.