new shoes and my first RUN!!

So, Monday was a great day. I got cleared by my doctor to start running again! Only problem is my old running shoes were so run down that I knew I need new ones. After a lot of sad puppy dog faces to my mom and promises of paying her back once I get a job, I was allowed to go buy a brand new pair of my beloved Mizuno Wave Riders. My mom couldn't quite understand the need for new shoes though, which led to some hilarious (to me) conversations.

Mom: "But you already have a pair of perfectly good shoes."

Me: "The cushioning is worn out and that can cause injuries."

Mom: "Who even replaces shoes every 5 or 6 months, anyway?"

Me' "Any runner with a brain. Shoes don't last more than 500 miles at most."

Mom: "A lot of people run in old shoes all the time."

Me: "A lot of people are also idiots."

Chic: (after I had already bought the new shoes) "Um, those are exactly the same as your old shoes."

Me: (face palm) No duh. Because they are a great shoe and I want to run in them again."

Honestly if I was talking to other runners they would totally get it, but even after watching me train for and run 2 marathons, 5 half marathons, and several relays you'd think my family would get it! Haha.

So yesterday, I headed out for my first real run, post-surgery. I have two new feet, might as well break them in like I break in new shoes.

I'm not gonna lie, it sucked.

I haven't ran a single mile since early March, and now that my feet are completely different than they were back then, my body is not only not used to running at all, it isn't used to my new body mechanics. My right foot (the one they fixed in May) felt great, only little tinges of discomfort here and there but not any pain. My left foot (2 months out from surgery and the one that has caused me a lot of grief) didn't know what was happening. The pain wasn't too awful but it was enough to where I think it showed on my face. If my foot could talk, it would probably say "stop, idiot."

BUT, I was able to get through about a mile of walking a little and running a bit more. I came home and had to head off to a choir practice and wouldn't you know it, my left foot was throbbing for most of the night. I honestly think my foot just needs to get used to being pounded over and over again. Haha.

Today I ran again. Two miles, this time. And it went much, much, MUCH better. I think I ran more than I walked and there was A LOT less pain than yesterday. I figure that the more I run, but still keep the intensity low, the better I will feel. I won't be doing any speed work soon, nor will I be doing any sort of high mileage for a while. But I think that high frequency, low intensity is the key here. My feet just simply need to get used to pounding and pushing off harder than if I were walking.

The way things have improved even between yesterday and today, I see no problem with running the turkey trot on Thanksgiving, which is a little less than two months from now. By that time, my right foot will be over 6 months out, and my left will be 4 months out. With the way my right foot feels NOW at 4 months out, I'm really excited to see how they will react to racing again.

This is just the beginning of the greatest time of my life!! So many great things happening soon :)

Good, Better, Best.

Job hunting has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. I have had a couple interviews, but so far they have ended in disappointment. Until yesterday. I received a call from an outpatient clinic in Montana- yes, my dream state and the place I have wanted to live for as long as I can remember. From what he told me, this is the perfect job, minus the whole 1,000 miles away from home part. So I got all excited! Last night I was convinced that I was moving there, and that it would finally be a dream come true! Yeah, I'd probably end up living in a trailer or something, and yeah, I could possibly be setting myself up to be an eternal spinster by moving to a small town, but at the same time I was ready for an adventure.

Then this morning, I had an interview at an office in Gilbert. Right down the street from my house, in a beautiful clinic with an awesome staff of mostly LDS people. The man I interviewed with seemed very positive about taking me on, even though I was completely upfront about the Montana position. He understood, and told me he was in no rush, and to think about it. All of a sudden, my feelings and priorities changed. I could make much more money if I stayed in Arizona and took this job. I could potentially pay off my students loans much more quickly. I could even begin saving money (something totally unheard of for me).

So now it is a choice between two excellent things. On one hand, my dream location. Montana. The mountains and small towns are thing that I daydream about on a regular basis. I know for most people, it doesn't sound ideal or appealing at all, but dang it, I am not most people! I have dreamed about living in a small rural town for as long as I can remember. When else will I have the chance to just up and move to where ever I want? So do I follow my heart, and do what I've always wanted to do?

On the other hand, staying in Gilbert. I could be responsible, save money, pay off student loans, be close to family, and continue to live in the state that I love dearly but sometimes hate at the same time. I hate that nothing changes here. I left for two years and came back, and nothing changed. So do I follow my head, and the logic that tells me I need to be a real adult now and take responsibility for my life?

This is what is plaguing me, this battle between my heart and my mind. I've never had to make such a huge life decision before. And making a pros and cons list doesn't help me much, because "mountains" will always beat "money" for me.

I am hoping to hear back from the Gilbert place in a couple days, and if they offer me a job I don't think I'll be able to turn it down. But at the same time, will I wish for the rest of my life that I had taken the job in Montana? Even if only for a couple years? These are the things that keep me up at night, so if anyone has some good advice/bits of wisdom for me, that would be greatly appreciated!

That Big Hole in the Ground

The Grand Canyon. I sometimes forget about the this big hole in the ground. I drive by the turn-offs to the south and north rims every time I drive to Utah. It wasn't until this weekend that I was able to fully appreciate the beauty and grandeur that is the Grand Canyon. 

I have a friend who is super adventurous, and he hikes the GC a couple times a year. I would have joined in a heart beat if I still wasn't recovering from my last foot surgery. As it is, I volunteered to be a driver, to get the car from the north rim to the south while the hikers traversed 24+ miles of unforgiving desert. 

Friday morning, I left with the first group and we headed up to the north rim. Arriving at about 5 pm, we decided to do a short hike from the campsite to the grand lodge. Now, since my surgery 6 weeks ago I haven't walked any long distances, and any walking I've done was on concrete and flat ground. I wasn't so sure about an almost 3-mile round trip on dirt and rocks and tree roots, but surprisingly the more I walked the better my foot felt! The lodge is beautiful! It is situated literally right at the edge of the cliff, and in the large front sitting room there are three huge bay windows with the most breathtaking views of the canyon. I could have sat on those couches all day. There's also a sitting area outside with more chairs, all facing the canyon. I would have given anything to sit there and just relax and read a good book. 

Shortly after dark we headed back to the campsite. Since there wasn't much to do and we didn't have firewood and it was quickly becoming freezing cold, we made our beds and attempted to sleep. All I can say is I wish I had brought a foam pad and another blanket to put on top of my sleeping bag! I was freezing most of the night, even all bundled up in my clothes, and although I'm used to sleeping on the ground I guess I'm getting old because I could not get comfortable! Haha. As it was, not much sleep was had by anybody that night, especially the other group because they arrived at around 1 am. 

Morning dawned cold and a little foggy. The 5 hikers seemed nervous but excited to get going. After packing up camp, we all drove the short distance to the Kaibab Trailhead. After some pictures and a prayer, they were off! I was almost nervous seeing them go. I know how dangerous the canyon can be, but I also had no doubt they would all make it out to other side in one piece. 

Stephanie (the other driver) and I hiked a short distance down the trail to get a glimpse of the canyon, but the trail was in the trees for some distance so we decided to drive to the lodge instead. Once there, we hiked out to Bright Angel point (half mile round trip) and enjoyed the amazing views. 

Around mid morning we left the north rim (which I was really sad to leave, it is gorgeous!) and arrived in Jacob's Lake. Of course I had to buy a cookie (or two) and we also needed to fill up on gas for the journey to the south rim. Since Stephanie hadn't really been to any of the popular stops along the way, I took on the job of tour guide. We stopped at some good lookout spots and then at Navajo Bridge which has awesome views of the mighty Colorado as it winds its way towards the GC. The river was as muddy as I have ever seen it, no doubt to all the rains in recent weeks. 

After Navajo Bridge, there aren't any more scenic spots so we set our sights on the south rim. When we arrived around 2 pm, it was already fairly crowded. We stopped at some of the early lookout spots, and even braved the crowds at the Grand Canyon Village. Around 5, we decided to get to Bright Angel Lodge and Trailhead and await our hikers. The walkie talkies that we had finally worked when we were at the trailhead, and they told us they were at what was called 3-Mile House. Another hour or so and they'd be out! 

Once Luke got cell service, he texted me and said him and Dave were behind the other three, as they were both having a rough time. Stephanie and I hiked down the trail a short way so we could see the switchbacks and watch for the other 3. We cheered them on when we saw them, then hiked the rest of the way out with them. Another hour or so later, the last two straggled out. They were both miserable but happy to be out. 

After showers for the hikers, a meal in the small town just south of the park, and lots of caffeine for me, we were finally on our way home. I was exhausted but somehow we all made it home in one piece, arriving around 1:15 am. 

Even though all I did was drive, I still had a total blast! Steph and I had fun exploring both rims and pretty much just being tourists. The crowds of foreigners were crazy but very interesting. I heard a lot of different languages, mostly French. Anyway, here's a picture dump! 

Job Searching equals HELL

So I am convinced that AZ is at it's worst in September. It still feels like summer, but it's not quite fall. It is still blasted hot, and there's not even a chill at night. It makes me reminisce about Utah's September. The colors are starting to change and the nights are perfect. There are good things about Utah and good things about Arizona, and I'm having a hard time deciding where I want to be now. I'm not gonna lie. I miss Utah. I mostly miss running there. That state has all of my favorite races.

I'm still in the middle of job searching, and can I just say that IT SUCKS. It seems like no matter how hard I try, I can't get on top of it. The majority of jobs that are available are either traveling jobs (not out of the question) or jobs in skilled nursing facilities, which I am convinced I will hate every waking second of working there. But I actually have no idea because I've never been in one. Who knows? I definitely do not want to work weekends or Sundays, which is why I've really been trying to get into an outpatient setting. The hours are set, and I've always been more interested in sports/orthopedics anyway. I did have an interview at an awesome clinic in Gilbert (inside Mountainside Fitness!) but they decided they wanted to go with a PT because they needed somebody to cover for the hours that the other PT is there. Forgive me if I'm wrong but ISN'T THAT THE POINT OF A PTA?! As a PTA, I am a valuable tool in growing clinics. I can see patients that the PT has already evaluated, producing a higher patient load while lowering costs. I swear, some people are sadly misinformed or just have no idea what the role of a PTA is. It drives me crazy.

The only thing I can do is keep moving forward. I have applied in many states, given my name and resume to as many recruiting agencies as I can, and still have come up with nothing. The one job offer I had wanted me to work every or every other Sunday. I can put up with a lot of things, but losing my Sunday is not an option. I have told myself from the very beginning that I would never work on Sundays. I had to once during my clinical and I felt dirty and just miserable all day.

Am I being too picky, or is I own personal happiness more important? Should I just take any job I can get (even if I will be miserable every day) or should I hold out for the job that I want? These are the questions that keep me up at night!!!!

Breaking Bad

Can I just take a moment and talk about the greatest show on television?! So during my awful week last week, where I was suffering from hives and itching and all that, I discovered the greatest show in existence. Now, I realize this show is in its 5th and final season (sob) and so it has been around for a while, and I realize I have had several friends tell me I need to watch it, but GOSH DANG IT why did I never listen?! This show, oh man this show is addicting. And it is all I can talk about. And people must think I'm crazy.

Here's the gist on this gem of a show: it is about a chemistry teacher (Walter White) who, upon finding out he has cancer, somehow decides that cooking and selling crystal meth is the only solution to his financial sorrows. He doesn't want his family to end up destitute when he is gone. So he teams up with an old student of his, Jesse (the love of my life) who has fallen into some druggie ways and has been a small-time meth dealer on the side. He's your typical punk kid with no respect for anybody. But I still can't help but love the kid. First off, he's gorgeous. Aaron Paul is one excellent actor and I don't think anybody else could have done such a stellar job with the character of Jesse Pinkman. His character arc over the 5 seasons of the show is what makes him so amazing. You'll just have to watch to find out what kind of person he becomes.

I think that's why I love this show so much. None of the characters are stagnant. The people they were in season 1 are so different than the people they are in season 5. The writing in this show is some of the best television story-telling I have ever seen. And at the risk of sounding like an obsessed fan (which I'm pretty sure I am), I am not kidding when I say that it is truly the greatest show on television. Ever. And I have watched a lot of TV and so obviously my opinion is valid. Haha. Just do yourself a favor, and watch it. Fair warning though, there will be violence and some language but if you can look past that, then you can enjoy it for what it really is. I can't say enough about it. And I'll leave it at that.

Also, I dare you not to fall in love with Jesse Pinkman. Because you will eventually. I promise.

My Body Hates Me

Scene: Two weeks had passed since I got my second foot surgery. Things were going good, except for the fact that I was bored all the time and had pretty much watched everything on Netflix. Well, wednesday night my operated foot started itching. And I mean itching, almost like there was a million mosquito bites on my entire foot. I removed the ace wrap and during the night managed to nearly destroy the white gauze wrapping that surrounded my foot. I had scratched my foot so much to where I was bleeding in some spots. Well, over the next couple days, the itching continues. My mom buys some new gauze, and we unwrap my foot all the way (not gonna lie, the incisions looked nasty), clean it up a bit, and then wrap it up all new again. And then on Saturday, I wake up and BAM my lips look like Angelina Jolie's. Huge. Red. And super uncomfortable. I hated life that weekend. I didn't go to church because I seriously looked like I had a botched plastic surgery. Luckily my doctor's appointment was Monday morning. I called my dr Sunday to tell him about what was going on, and he said he would take a look and see what was going on the next day.

Well the next morning, we unwrap my foot and lo and behold, any skin that was covered by the steri strips (strips of cloth-like stuff that basically kept the incision closed) had erupted into large, pus-filled blisters. My doctor informed me that I had built up an allergy to tincture benzoin, which was the substance they used to make the steri strips stay on the skin. During my scratching, I had made the blisters worse and transferred some of the substance to my face by touching my face after scratching. This was why my lips blew up like they did. Well, since the incisions weren't healing very well, he cleaned the areas, applied some new medication, and wrapped it all up again and said I needed to stay an extra week in the boot. :( This was sad news. I was so looking forward to riding my bike and finally working out again!

Well cut to two days later. I had broken out into hives all over my body and my new dressings on my foot were soaked through with dark yellow pus. Um grooooossssss. So I went back to the doctor, and he cleaned me up again and put even more gauze on it, which seemed to do the trick. I'll spare you guys a picture of my foot with the blisters and stuff because it is nasty! So now I've been an extra week in the boot, my hives took over my life for four or five days (before a steroid treatment finally kicked them to the curb) and I am really, really hoping that I will finally be rid of the wraps on my foot and my stupid walking boot for FOREVER. Doctor's appointment is tomorrow so fingers crossed that the incisions look good!

So basically after the most hellish and miserable and depressing week of my life, I am about to be free again! I'm really hoping for good news, mostly because I am so sick of wrapping my foot in plastic bags before I take a shower.

Alicia vs Feet, Round 2

After my Montana trip, I wanted to get my second foot surgery done asap. Luckily I was able to get scheduled for Aug 1st, and my life since then has consisted of Netflix, movies, books, laying around, sleeping in, and eating. So, needless to say, I am currently very, very excited to get out of my walking boot and back into a routine that somewhat resembles a normal life.

This one was different this time around. I actually had people visit me! Haha. Also, I managed to be on one crutch by Monday, and no crutches the next day. Last time, I went a whole week until I was on one crutch and then I barely managed no crutches a couple days later. I think it might be because I knew what the pain would feel like this time around, and so I was able to put up with it more easily.

Another big change was that my foot has been itching now, non-stop, for five days now! Enough so that I managed to destroy my wrapping and give myself bruises and blisters where I was scratching! Yeah, I wasn't messing around. My mom eventually bought me some lotion, so I unwrapped my foot, cleaned it up a bit, and put on some new wrappings and lotion on. It now feels a little better and hopefully my doctor won't be mad at me on Monday for taking off the wraps. Haha!

Basically, Tuesday is a new beginning. I am SO excited for bike rides, swimming, the gym, and starting my training. I can't run until October 1st or so, but I am going to start upping cardio in other ways so that when I do eventually start running again, I won't be back at stage 1. This means the elliptical and spin bike will be my new best friends. I am also going to focus on weight training, especially legs and core. My muscles in my legs used to be pretty robust and strong, but since my first surgery they have all but wasted away. I am just a flabby and weak version of my former self! Haha. I'm excited to get back into shape. I spent an hour or so the other day planning the next 10 weeks of training and working out and it is honestly the only thing keeping me going.

Once I start running again, then it starts to get crazy! First, the turkey trot. I have high hopes for my first race back. I am hoping to get in under an hour, and I know with plenty of hard work I can achieve this goal! After that, there aren't many races until February. Ragnar. My favorite race and my favorite weekend of the year. I should start putting together a team soon! After Ragnar, I might possibly consider the Phoenix Marathon. Not the half. The full one. I know, I must be crazy BUT I have my reasons that shall remain unnamed for now :) I won't sign up until I know I can handle high mileage without damaging my feet. I won't know more until about 3 months before the race, which is plenty of time. All I know is that I've had dreams about training and racing and I cannot wait to get back into it. I've realized I'm kind of nothing without running. I'm about to find myself again!

Other than that, nothing new in my life except the dreaded job hunting. Ugh. My previous jobs were all pretty much handed to me and so job searching for my first big girl job is so hard and intimidating! I could potentially go anywhere, to any state, and it is kind of sending me into a quarter-life crisis. I have put off growing up for SO long and now that it is finally here, I don't know where to start! I've applied for many jobs and so far haven't had any luck but I have no doubt something will work out eventually. Anyway, that will consume my life for the foreseeable future, and I'm hoping I can get on my feet as soon as possible!